Inspiration, Muse, Motivation, Reason, whatever. I write from the place I’m at. Where my head is at. Does that make sense? I suffer when I force myself to write from a perspective I’m not attuned to. Its like eating tofu and pretending its steak. It doesn’t work. Its not right. And honestly, my writing is flaming pile of dung that way. That’s probably the reason I struggled as an English major in my university days. I was forced to respond to things that I had no connection towards. Nothing pulling me to a state of epiphany, if you will. However, English people are really weird. As I said before, I’m weird, fun weird, not like I’m the campus sleep creeper or some hippie who shows up to class stoned everyday. RANT.
Anyway, today I am coming to you as a HOCKEY WIFE. That’s where I’m at. I’m in a new city, which will become an immanent life event considering my husbands line of work. And I call it work because, yes, he is a paid professional in the hockey world. He is not a men’s-night-shinny type of Hockey Guy. LEGIT. He’s hardcore and he’s going to make it. His work ethic is second to none. No, its not my ‘role’, I believe it. PREACH.
This is our third new city/town together. Part of the fun of it is the move. I have a slight addiction to real estate. But holy crap, its also the scariest part. It becomes inevitable that you become attached to a place, a home, a park, an arena…people, and then you have to leave. To get closer to our ideal. The ideal you planned together. I remember the two of us going out for wings and beer discussing if this ‘ideal’ is worth it? If we could make it work as a couple, as a family (as I was prego with Little Man at the time). The risks….the joys…..the unknown. Gah! Um, the unknown is the worst.
Sacrifice has become a large part of my life. Sacrifice only works whole-heartedly when you know your limits. I had to realize that I will, of course, walk beside him but not at the risk of giving up everything that makes me…me. Hence, the birth of my blog. My Hubs knows that about me.
We are living apart right now. I couldn’t leave my job. It didn’t work economically, logistically, and emotionally. I remember when he got the offer from the latest team. I was at school (remember I’m a teacher), and I cried because I wasn’t prepared to leave the school, the kids, my co-workers and friends. So I didn’t. Any which way you want to spew it out, the positives to keep my job far outweighed dropping everything and uprooting our lives.
Since this has happened, I think Hubs and I actually see each other more. I bring Little Man (our son), often and every once in a while I go for a short stay on my own for some reconnect.
So I’m here. In our newest venture city, at the local Starbucks regurgitating our story in a nutshell. There are a small minority of us “hockey wives” out there, but if you hear me can I get a WHA-WHA!? Hope to see you around the hockey hood. Would love to share.