As a mother, I know I will be faced with decisions that will consume every moment of my day. Its funny, before becoming a mother, decisions were made with haste, reckless abandon of sanity, or at least the fear of consequence wasn’t as looming as it is when you are a mother. But there is one decision that has been a tough one for me as a mother. Tough because, if the decision is made and is being executed, it means I’m dead.
I’m talking about Guardians, Godparents, the people who will ‘parent’ your child in the untimely event of our death. When you think about that as a parent, it hits you hard. Then what hits you even harder, is when you realize someone else has to fit the VERY BIG shoes you wear.
We didn’t know where to start. In fact we ignored it for a very long time, I think. Little Man will be two years old in a couple of months. So we were flying without a net for quite some time. There were so many factors that were playing a part in choosing who would look after L.M. as if he was their own. Do we choose a family members? Friends? Will people get offended if they are not chosen? Do they even want the responsibility of raising a child? What if they say “No”? And then once you get past those…what are the qualifications?
- Do they love him?
- Do they have kids already?
- Do they have experience?
- Will they change a diaper?
- Do they have similar beliefs?
- Are they close in proximity to friends and family?
- Will they continue traditions?
- Are they responsible? Capable?
- Will they be a mentor?
- Will they stay true to our wishes as parents…
It honestly keeps going, but I’ll shield you from that mind vomit.
Let’s be honest. I googled it. Here’s what I found:
What I found is…they need to have the answer “YES” at least 90% of my above concerns. Its a hard thing to do, but its important. This is your child. And YES, the most important thing in your life.
This year, on Thanksgiving, we finally chose the perfect people to be ‘Godparents’ or Guardians for our L.M. and future siblings. I was so nervous. I was nervous they might say no, and nervous we were going to upset others. Our ‘nominees’ are all extremely special people in our life and we love them. We were especially humbled and grateful this Thanksgiving because we really did have the chance to step back and look at how many people in our lives we would trust in the raising of our son, should anything happen to us. And to me, that’s pretty special. We changed our point of view from worrying about who to choose, to feeling gratitude for all we have in those people.
I couldn’t speak. When the time came to discuss this important matter, my defence mechanism of getting emotional and crying took over, as per ushe. My hubby stepped up, as he knew he would. He wasn’t as eloquent or descriptive as I envisioned the conversation going in my head, but it was an offering that I will never forget. The words they used: honoured, humbled, happy, celebrate, of course, YES, thank you. It was exactly what we needed to hear.
It was the hardest decision I’ve had to make. More than picking a name for your child, more than deciding to go with Huggies or Pampers…(always Pampers), but we did it. We feel good about it. Now to live a happy and safe life.