Here’s the thing. I am not sure what type of person I am. You know, in that Type A : Type B sort of casting? I’m a cross between those Unicorn moms and the Pinterest mom. I am/was a teacher so scheduling is kind of the rule. You have to follow a set upon timed sequence of events that will happen throughout the day. It lessens the amount of chaos. And we appreciate that type of organization. But sometimes you just want to fly by the seat of your pants and just go with it. And sometimes that happens, especially when your students/kids lead you else where making you veer off the beaten path. Seriously, how many times a day does this happen to you? But when it comes to running our household, I’m sort of in limbo. I do make lists and admittedly need lists but also wish I could do away with the confines and pressures of scheduling. Why are schedules so stressful…yet I can’t live without them…and neither can you.
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| My Paper Army–It’s my inexpensive, colourful personal assistant. |
I am a visual learner and need to see a list in front of me, telling me what I need to know or do. I get a thrill from preparing a list. I’m not anal or obsessive, but if you could see how many list pads I have throughout my house, you’d say it was a….ah… healthy collection? Why so many? You know, so I can write things down. They could be things like groceries lists, to-do lists, appointments, or story ideas. Now that you think of it…I bet you have lists too.
In retrospect, I also hate the way the list looks at me sometimes, shaming me for its lack of completion. There are days when my list just doesn’t budge. If fact, I spend so much time making the list, that when it comes to taking action I’m just not into it anymore. Life gets busy, the kids get hungry, things get messy, you need coffee, dinner comes quickly, witching hour is owning you, it becomes a haze, and poof! You’re in the pitch dark singing 5 Green and Speckled Frogs to your squirmy, sleepy, cuddly, drool-sodden baby boy wondering if the white noise machine will put you to sleep as well. And if it doesn’t, there ain’t no coming back from this fatigue. So yah, I didn’t get a lot done today. And your self-talk goes, “S%!+, I didn’t get anything done today”, and it might really, really bother you. Slapping a thin layer of anxiety over you. I should really hate and abolish lists…
But the rush, the sense of victory, the lighter walk, and the raised glass of completing things on your list or everything on it is like no other. It is such a good feeling, for me at least. I’m serious when I say I can feel the endorphins bopping around inside when everything gets checked off my list. Oh, and I check it off, then I put a line through it just to say “That’s Right! I did it.” with a little swagger and duck lips. But truth be told…that doesn’t happen often. Its rare.
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| This one is a bit intense. I tend not to circle the “Urgency” exclamation points. It just visually stresses me out. |
The point is we can’t avoid schedules or routines. Some people like to pretend that they don’t use schedules or routines. Yes you do. We all do. If you have kids…you have a routine, somewhat. If you have a toddler, your routine is now behind. If you have a job…you have a schedule and that’s essential. We may not like them, and try to avoid them but you just can’t. I’m not talking about being easy going and not getting rattled if you didn’t do laundry {although I often celebrate when I don’t do laundry…cause it sucks}. It’s the doctors appointments, the school bells, and drop offs. Those are kind of unavoidable. I’m talking about schedules and routines being present, necessary, and helpful if you limit the amount of possibles in a day. Limiting your schedules to what you can handle is the hard part. As a mom, I have so many things to get done. Period. The problem is not schedules and routine, it’s trying to do it all in a condensed amount of time. We are super-heroes, but not miracle workers.
I had to make a routine for The Duke, my youngest, when Little Man went to JK this year. Everything changed. And I had to adjust. I was pretty rattled about it too. Things were working out perfectly. I had to give my head a shake. If you hate schedules, don’t. That’s the negative talking, but if you listen, it’s really telling you to take something out. That stressor is telling you that something is not working. There is always something you can take out, like skipping that blog post for a bit or passing on that hockey game, or not getting meals prepped like you so gloriously imagined and you wanna know what? I just move on. I don’t like it. But I don’t sweat it. If you do, cue the anxiety “schedules” give us. You blame it on schedule. It’s easier. So here it is…
Spoiler Alert! It’s because I don’t allow myself time. I always feel like I have to be “ON” and ‘on-time’ which I’m not and I’m aware of it, thank you very much. I’m handling it. I’m not going to give you a list of way to fix your scheduling woes, but here is one thing I did to help me. Got me a sitter once a week for 5 hours. And I go. I do work, I explore, I get exercise, I run errands, I do nothing. But that time is free for me. I am free, but scheduled only for 5 hours until Schedule says I have to pick up Little Man from school at 3pm. The school bell rings and its time to be “ON”. Eventually the family will need to be fed, scheduled loosely, bed time will come, give or take a few minutes. But schedule says that The Bachelor is on at 8:00pm so make sure you are ready for that. If you’re not…PVR baby! Schedule is all around us. The problem is not schedules or routine, the problem is that there is no you in your schedule.
Here’s some food for thought, at the end of the day when you are feeling defeated, make a list of what you did do. Everything. You will notice that you did get $%!+ done.
Take some time. Write that Down.
