You may or may not follow me on Instagram, but if you do, I always, always, always have something to share when I have a Mama’s Day Out. Once a week I try to get a sitter during the day so I can get out and run errands, get to appointments, do some solid blog work, or get a workout in…ALL KID FREE. And I can tell you, I feel lighter after this day. I feel accomplished. And I wouldn’t give that up. I need that bit of freedom to be the best version of myself, the best mom, and the best wife…
But something was missing. I still felt that I wasn’t connecting to a part of myself and I couldn’t figure out why. I am happy. I am obsessed with my kids, I adore and am inspired by my husband, I feel healthy. So What gives?
Friends. In this hockey life, we have made our fair share of moves, not a lot in comparison to some, but we have made some. And each one is an adjustment. In those moves we have made the best of friends. It’s crazy awesome how we connected with some of these people and I know I can’t survive without them. But as we ‘adult’ and makes moves and grow, there adds distance and new responsibilities. That is just the norm. And the good friends…they get that…
But what about right now? Having moved here over a year and a half ago, my friend list is well…short. Real short. I found myself craving someone to talk to, to drink wine with, to get all judgey watching The Bachelor with…and who understands that I’m probably going to go to bed promptly at 10pm…maybe earlier.
I needed something else and thought surely there are other women who feel exactly like I do. Stagnant, disconnected, alienated….bat sh*+ crazy…even depressed at times. I remember when I lived in the Toronto area and a friend invited me to go to a girls night out run by a duo called The Social Common, now the lovely and amazing Cat and Nat. They hosted a hilarious get together. A room full of women all on the same page and loving a night out free from kids, free from household responsibility, free from the redundancy of everyday routine and full of laughter, wine, and like minded mama’s.
Back to present time. I needed to bring this to Kingston. Most importantly, I needed this for myself. And I think a lot of other Mama’s in my hood needed this too.
When I met Erica at a Women of YGK function in August of last year, we hit it off! We had just popped out babies and had tons in common. We exchanged information and vowed to get together for drinks, playdates, etc etc etc….Fast forward 7 months and we were guilty of all talk, no action. Then I began to notice that there was a trend. Every amazing woman I had met in person or through social media was just that…but it was the same thing…talk talk talk. And by no fault of anyone in particular, but life.just.happens. Mom life gets busy, real busy. And if we don’t actually stop and schedule time for ourselves…we don’t get any time.
I kept thinking about Erica. A blogger like me, a mom like me, and I thought that we should do some sort of collaboration…Our collab turned itself into a Mama’s Night Out. Yes, it involved planning. Yes, it involved organizing…but guess what…we kinda dig that kinda stuff.
With the Kingston Canadian Film Festival making its way to our city, it was the perfect opportunity to treat ourself to something out of the ordinary. We also shared that we have a love for craft beer — insert Stone City Ales, for the most delicious and hoppy way to begin and satiate our night out. We wanted to support local fare, venues, and small businesses as well. So we committed to a night out and this would be our collaboration. My brain wouldn’t rest. Go big or go home.
Next we decided that if it was a film festival that we were attending then we obviously needed some sweet and trending threads to appropriately dress us for the event. Insert Laura Kaminer, fellow Mama and local fashionista turned business owner with her very own YGK Studios, a fashion boutique that you need to check out. By the way, THANK YOU to all who voted for their favourite outfits for us!
We wanted to support local businesses and also include as many mama’s in our night out. We even lucked out by having the sweetest, contagiously charismatic mama photographer join us on our night out after finding out that she was also new to town and feeling the same as us. Alone, isolated, stagnant…Kaley joined us, snapped some amazing pics, and also made two new friends. US!
We had an awesome night. Truly. And thus, the collaboration happened organically…
The 5 Essentials to a Successful Mama’s Night Out
- Look Good, Feel Good!
Its your night out. Own it. Own your beauty. When is the last time you got dressed up, actually blow dried your hair and put on makeup other than a few wands of your mascara?…Don’t even get me started on wiping the dust off your heels….
You deserve this. Look in that mirror in front of you and find you. Your beautiful self.
2. The Rule of Two
Its exactly how it sounds…We always include two things to do on our nights out. One could be dinner and drinks (always drinks), and a group activity. I say activity because it changes. It’s never the same. We typically don’t do movies because you can’t talk in a movie. You can’t connect. And we want to connect. You want to connect. We will give you an activity that will give you something to talk about…
3. Release YOURSELF (of Responsibility)
Ok. It’s your night out! Cut yourself off from what is happening at home. Forget about cooking dinner, or bedtime or what your kid looks like sleeping through your monitor app on your phone. Get off your phones…unless you are taking a selfie with your new bestie. Be present. This is about you.
4. Tribe Focus
If you are shy or nervous about meeting new people, fear not. You are already walking into a situation where you have something in common with everyone there…we are mama’s…and we want to have some well deserved fun. You will find like minded women around you. The first step is always the hardest, so trust the process. You need this. Plus, we are really fun.
5. Planning Ahead – Momming in the Morning
Let’s face it. We have to Mom in the morning. We don’t want to tarnish our good times with an ugly hangover or sleep deprivation. We have the most important job in the world. We have to Mom. So it’s important to know that we will of course support each other in having fun, but also support each other in making sure our night ends on a high note. So get home safe…I JUST found out (thanks Erica!) that Kingston has UBER! Drink Water. Take your multi-vitamins. Wash your face. Go to sleep! Dream about our next outing!
So make sure you follow both of us on our social media accounts to ensure you don’t miss any of our big plans to momYOURSELF! We want you with us on our next Mama’s Night Out!
You can follow Erica at ericaemma1 on Instagram!